Thursday, July 17, 2014

iWait: One Requirement of the Submissive Husband

Some time ago someone mentioned the word ‘waiting’ in a post and it got me thinking about a small yet very important part of my life as Katie’s submissive.  I wait. I wait for all kinds of things. I wait for her to make a decision when the answer (in my mind) wants to leap from my tongue. I've learned to hold my thoughts and let Katie decide on her own time. 
I wait when she tells me we will be leaving at 8 pm and I am ready at 7:45.  I wait without telling her to hurry up.  I wait when she wants to sleep-in on a weekend even though I have been ready to get up an hour earlier.  Instead, I cuddle behind her or lay perfectly still if she wants to cuddle me.  I wait until she is ready to rise and don’t disturb her sleep.  I wait when we go shopping.  Often I tag along a step behind, letting her browse the clothing aisles, appliance department, the food shelves, the pet supply area or wherever it is we happen to be shopping.  I don’t grab her hand and pull her along. I don’t look at the time on my cell in a way that signals my desire to leave. I simply enjoy my time with her, talk about what I see, point out things I believe she’d like or that I feel would look good on her and enjoy the moment. 
I wait while she uses the laptop. I don’t ask to use it but wait for her to finish checking emails, writing responses or browsing the web.  I wait when we watch TV or sit outside on the deck at night.  I don’t tell her I am going to bed. I wait until she is ready.  And when she is, I clean up behind her and head up to join her.  I wait when she drives, even if she’s driving 60 in a 70 mph. I don’t point at the speed limit signs. I don’t tell her she’s driving too slow. I sit in the passenger seat and enjoy the ride, doing what I can to make her as comfortable as I can.  
I wait when she works part-time for a friend. We travel together even though this is all Katie's thing and not mind.  After arriving I am free to do what I want, usually bringing along work or a laptop to write letters or blog posts while waiting for her to finish.  Normally she will tell me when it is that I am to be back making sure I am always a few minutes early so as to not make her wait on me.   I wait when we go out for a meal or out with friends. I wait on Katie. I make sure she has the better of the two seats to sit in so she can socialize easier with others. I wait until she gives the signal that it is time to ask for the bill for our meal or that it is time to leave a social function at a friends home. Until that signal is given I wait and be the best company I can for my Mistress.

Waiting has become one of the joys of my submission.  Waiting makes a man look to his Mistress for direction. Waiting helps a man learn that she is more important than he.  Waiting teaches patience. Waiting reinforces a man’s dependency on his wife. Waiting is a tangible sign that she is the one who is most important, is the one who leads, who is the one who is in charge, and by waiting the submissive demonstrates his obedience to the one he serves.  

Katie is my Owner. She now uses those words every now and again and I love hearing them every time she does. Because she owns me, because she is the Mistress, because she is the dominant partner she deserves to be waited for and waited on. Waiting on is a topic for another post but waiting for is something a woman (all Mistress wives for that matter) deserve, and it does a submissive man well to learn this important skill of patience and focus on the woman he has committed his life to serve.

I’m Hers

PS: Katie read and approved the post and then told me of a song I wasn't aware of. It's by Brad Paisley and this version has the one and only Andy Griffith in it.  Here's the link  and here's the words. They brought tears to my eyes thinking about how privileged I am to be waiting for my woman!

Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall 
He sat down in his overalls and asked me
You waitin' on a woman
I nodded yeah and said how 'bout you
He said son since nineteen fifty-two I've been
Waitin' on a woman

When I picked her up for our first date
I told her I'd be there at eight
And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty
She said I'm sorry that I took so long
Didn't like a thing that I tried on
But let me tell you son she sure looked pretty
Yeah she'll take her time but I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

He said the wedding took a year to plan
You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous
Waitin' on a woman
And then he nudged my arm like old men do
And said, I'll say this about the honeymoon, it was worth it
Waitin' on a woman

And I don't guess we've been anywhere
She hasn't made us late I swear
Sometimes she does it just 'cause she can do it
Boy it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same with your young wife
Might as well go on and get used to it
She'll take her time 'cause you don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Locked Again

It's been a long time since there were panties put out on the counter for me. Katie was up early and told me the night before I could sleep in.  How nice that was.  After giving her a nice massage I fell asleep cuddled tight against her back. It was after a nice ten-hour rest that I climbed out of bed and saw the baby blue panties folded nicely on the counter. Katie was thinking about my well being!  Panties on the counter is the unspoken indicator for me to 'lock up'.  I haven't been locked for almost a month and it's been both a nice break as well as something I've actually missed.

Have you ever had those feelings? I mean, have you ever missed having some significant symbol that the two of you are not equal and want that symbolic part of your relationship back again?  Now, I never ever believed for a moment that Katie let me gain equal footing with her. That isn’t ever happening. She loves my submission and thrives as the head of our home. The freedom she enjoys without me hindering her decisions has brought her much pleasure and satisfaction.  We haven't lived as equals for several years nor will we ever, but I did feel more her equal during these weeks when the chastity appliance was stowed away (if you know what I mean). I mean I can try to encourage things more than when under lockdown.  

Personally I deeply desire to see those overt signs that I am owned and here to love and serve Katie. Mentally I have long since made the change as to who I am and that 'new' me is one I sincerely enjoy. Because of this there were times when I wished she’d have me lock but the day before we left for vacation she told me to “put the Bird in a secure place and out of sight”. We left for a fifteen day adventure with the Jailbird at home. It was a good feeling – mostly.  

But this morning after I saw the panties on the counter and obediently locked I asked Katie the 'why' question regarding the panties. All I got was 'it's been awhile,' as a response.  It has indeed. What was interesting was that the following evening she kept me locked. I thought for certain she’d permit me to sleep free but instead I was told to massage her and no mention of unlocking came into her conversation. That night I found myself wanting out.  I think I was mostly asleep but the feeling I had, and later related to Katie the following morning, was that I did not like her doing this to me.  It was an odd emotion and one that most certainly came from being free for so long. 

The following evening I was told to unlock and massage her once again. The next day I was free. The following day I was free as well but ended up asking if I could lock.  She agreed and so I sit once more restrained and unable to access the goods.  I love being a submissive.

I’m Hers

PS: since writing this post some two weeks ago I have been in and out of chastity.  Any day that I'd spend even an hour apart from her I would wake to find the panties on the counter. She takes no chances that I will ever be free while out of her sight.  Today was one such day and so it was another day in lockdown.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Turning Another Corner

I’m writing this in mid June but not posting it until now.  I like to write when ideas pop into my head and then schedule the posts so I don’t feel pressured to write when there is nothing significant to put down on paper.  Anyway, I’ve been noticing changes in Katie’s behavior and I doubt it has anything to do with my desire that she become more overtly possessive or dominant.  I think she is simply becoming more of who she is – the Mistress of our home - and is verbalizing her mind more pointedly by making sure I do those things she wishes to take care of her and our home.
That is one of her favorite phrases: “I love you taking care of me.”  Taking care of her of course means that I do what she wants when she wants it done. But by her making sure I meet her needs she is satisfying that desire to know that I am owned.  She is offering me fewer choices. She asks me if I will do something less often and states more often what it is she wants done.  The end result is the same but the way she now tells me what she wants done leaves nothing to choice and, quite frankly, helps me to know exactly what I am to do and when.  It’s what I’ve wanted all along – clarity from her and being able to see her confidence build as the leader of our home.
Here’s a few examples of the subtle changes I’m noticing:
It was a Wednesday night. We were in bed. We would be leaving for vacation early on a Friday so Thursday was our last day to get things done.  In my mind, the day was over and I wanted to cuddle and fall asleep. Katie’s mind was still in high gear.  The silence was interrupted with her stating, “You need to mow the yard.”

“I know, I’ll do it. I don’t want you worrying about that. I’ll take care of it.”

A moment later: “I want this room vacuumed and the downstairs vacuumed too.”

"OK Katie."

Another moment of silence and then: “The dog needs to be bathed. We’ll have to do it later in the day when we have time.”


After a longer moment of silence: “Remind me to get more cash for our trip.”

“OK I will.”

A bit later: “When were the sheets changed last?”

“ Last Saturday,” I answered.

“Wash them in the morning, that way they will be clean when we get back.”

“Yes Katie.”

After another minute of peace: “I have a few clothes I want washed tomorrow that I want to take with us when we leave. I’ll throw them in the laundry basket in the morning.”

“OK.” I said once last time.  

It was then when she drifted off to sleep. It was then that I realized I needed help remembering all she just told me. With Katie snuggled tight against my back and her arm wrapped around me I stealthily got my phone and started writing down all I needed to do come morning.  Putting the phone away I fell asleep.

That was one example.  Earlier in the day we ate lunch at a Chinese restaurant with her adult daughter. Opening my fortune cookie I read, “You worked hard today and deserve a reward in the evening.” I smiled, my mind conjuring up thoughts of passionate sex.

“Just because you worked hard doesn’t mean you are going to get a reward,” Katie stated flatly, her daughter listening from across the table. 

I looked her way hoping for support but got nothing. Instead all I got was her backing her mom bytelling me my fortune wasn’t even a fortune but rather a statement. I read it again but Katie once again told me there was no guarantee of any reward.  And when "later" came all I got was a list of things needed doing the following day.
Earlier in the week Katie must have been thinking about how much she enjoyed having me home on vacation. She blurted, “I wish you were home all the time. I’d have you working on so many projects.” 

She must have had visions of me spackling walls and painting rooms, doing small repairs, scrubbing floors, felling trees that need to be thinned in the yard and who knows what else.  What struck me was the openness she expressed in knowing my role is doing stuff so she doesn't have to.  I think she likes owning a man who she can order around and obeys without question.

She is slowly changing. When comparing the person she is now to the one I knew even a year ago the change is significant.  I wonder what she will be like in another few years? All I know is that I am enjoying her even more as she settles into the role as my Dominant wife.

I’m Hers 

Monday, June 30, 2014

"I'm Not Allowed"

Earlier this summer Katie invited one of her single girlfriends over. She is a great woman and a dear friend to both of us.  At some point during the evening our conversation with Rachel turned to a discussion about a potential guy that she has an interest in pursuing.  This man happens to enjoy golf. It also just so happens that ‘golf’ is one of two activities that are on my banned list. Golf happens to be on the black list because Katie's previous husband often golfed for many hours on his day off rather than spending his free time with her.

At some point Rachel mentioned to Katie that this guy and I might enjoy golfing.  Without a second’s thought I spoke up saying, “Just because he might want me to go golfing with him does not mean that I’ll be allowed to go.” With my eyes I motioned to my wife next to me as to the reason I wouldn't be doing that.

Katie and Rachel may have smiled but the conversation proceeded unbroken after my statement. I don’t even know if Katie noticed what I had said but I sure did – after the fact.  What struck me in hindsight were a few things. First, just how normal the box that I live in has become. It’s not odd; it’s not abnormal; it just is and I am very content living within that box. I know that golfing is not something that Katie wishes me to do because of the time away it would mean.  (As an aside, I have never taken to golf so it's not something I am dying to do.  Put that ball on the tee and I'll smack that thing a long way but I may miss it a few times before I connect - that's how bad I am :)   Second was the lack of surprise Rachel and Katie gave my statement.  There response was  more akin to 'if that's what Katie wants then that's the way it is'. I do think the cat is out of the bag with Rachel that I serve Katie. She does not know that I vowed to obey her but she often comments to Katie how good she has it.  I think too that Rachel knows that Katie runs our relationship – meaning that she makes decisions – not me.

I mention this five second moment from my life, not to make some profound point but then again, that statement and their acceptance of that response is indeed profound. I have come to accept a new normal - a new normal that fits what Katie prefers. Rachel has also come to accept a new normal too (or maybe just a normal that is becoming more publicly accepted) - that men obey and follow their wives wishes.  For whatever the reason I found both my statement and their reaction to be quite informative.  Maybe you can think of similar statements that you've made that have had similar responses. Feel free to share for the benefit of all if you care to.

I’m Hers

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Obedience Should be a Man's Only Option

Recently I was doing a small carpentry job. While in the attic on a hot summer day with the ventilation fan doing its best to suck out the building heat on the black roof a thought struck me regarding ‘male obedience’.  I find it perplexing how the brain works.  I have no idea where the thought came from nor why it came when it did.  My thought had to do with men promising to obey women.  To understand where I am coming from the reader needs to know that when Katie and I married I promised to obey her. Specifically I knelt before her and promised many things including my promise to do whatever she told or asked of me.  I went back and looked at the vow I wrote and found the following statements that contained such promises:

·         I kneel before you symbolizing my desire to serve and obey you as your submissive husband.
·         I promise to obey you.
·         I will obey you.
·         I want to obey you more than anything else. 
·         I want you to be known as your submissive husband who obeys you without question
·         I promise to honor your dominance by obeying you.

Yes I made the promise to obey my wife. It is a promise that goes against the tradition of a woman making such a promise to her husband to be.  I broke that tradition and I did so after much thought.  When I wrote the vow to Katie I did so choosing my words carefully. I started writing it a few months before we married and gave thought to what it was I was promising. I knew that the promises I made I would be held accountable for and that my words would become expectations, just as I believed Katie’s promises would be to me.

To obey another is a big deal. It means that ‘choice’ is removed. It implies that the ‘obey-er’ is indebted to the one whom they are obeying. I can see back when men and women married and lived those Happy Days lives in the 1950’s and before how normal a woman obeying a man was. It was what every woman did.  But then again husbands had their ‘honey-do’ lists and word had it that women ran the show at home regardless of whether or not the wife worked or stayed at home. 

When I was nailing a piece of 1x6 the thought came to me, “why wouldn’t a man want to obey his wife?” I mean, every couple promises to love one another. As Kathy noted when she referenced the wedding she and her husband attended, the pastor spoke about the Biblical definition of love: Love is patient, love is kind, love does not keep track of things, love forgets wrongs done, etc.  When a man tells a woman ‘I love you’ he implicitly tells her I will do anything for you, I will give my life if it means sparing yours. I will do anything to make you happy, I never wish to harm you, hurt you, make you look or feel less when around others – or even when only with me. 

Now I know that we often don’t think about the words we use in that way but that is what is meant when one tells another that they love them.  If my premise is true, then why would a man deliberately ‘disobey’ his wife? I couldn’t think of one valid reason.  If he deliberately disobeyed her he states through his actions that she is not the most important person in his life (but rather he views himself above her). He reveals that he is selfish by putting his wishes and desires ahead of hers. That isn’t love. 

Yes I know the traditional man wants freedom to do things his way and when he is single I guess there is no harm in doing so but when he commits himself to another his world changes. No longer is life about him only. The entire reason he enters a relationship is because he realizes his life will be enriched by sharing it with another.  When that thought is in his conscious mind, most men do obey. In fact they go out of their way to see to it that the woman is taken care of and cared for.  Only when the new becomes old do those attitudes and habits become lost and forgotten.  How sad that they do for when those attitudes disappear so does a degree of shared intimacy as well.

I am proud to know that I promised to love Katie. I never want to disobey her. I always want to please her. I love seeing that beautiful smile that comes so freely because she knows without a doubt that I am hers. Period. There is no question in her mind that my heart and soul belong to her and I am thankful she can tell me what to do and watch me obey her daily – without question – for each time that I do I demonstrate my love and submission to the woman I promised to serve as long as we have lives to share.

I’m Hers

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Taking a Break

I hope all of you are enjoying your summer as much as I am mine.  I'm on vacation and will be doing some traveling with Katie to see friends, family and taking some time just for the two of us.  Last night as we were lying in bed when Katie said, "I love you being here all the time," referring to me not having to be at work for the past few days.  It is for this reason that I wish I could figure a way to retire early or at least work from home but the nature of my job most likely prevents me from doing that. That is sad indeed.

On a different note, a few weeks ago Katie unlocked me. We were sitting side by side watching TV when one of us mentioned another 'use' for the Jailbird.  We laughed and then a few moments later the other thought of 'another' use for it, and then another.  So, having a bit more time to be goofy I took a few pictures.  I'm sure you could think of other uses for it besides the ones below. 

And besides, thinking "outside" the box is how great ideas have become reality - and the owners of those ideas often become rich!!!!  Should I come up with one, I'm retiring ASAP so I can stay at home and enjoy my beautiful wife.  Until then, enjoy the pics and put your appliance to good use when you are unlocked :)

Soft boiled eggs anyone?  Egg dying?

Do you need a small animal alfalfa or Timothy hay feeder?  It's a bit pricey but it works like a charm!

Yes the pansy's have about run their course with the hot weather arriving but this planter is so versatile. Verbena, petunias, begonias, pick your favorite and enjoy the beauty of their color all the while knowing that your choice of planter is 'one of a kind'.

Grapes are one of those fruits that are heavily sprayed.  Be sure you wash yours thoroughly. Not only does this strainer allow you to do that but also provides a way to measure the size of a 'serving' of this wonderful fruit.

Later in the day when you need to drain your pasta you can reuse 'the bird' once more.  It's use in the kitchen is limitless!

Have a great week!

I'm Hers

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

All I Want is a Bone Every now and Then

The past few posts - except for the last two- had to do with my desire to be owned more completely.  One can phrase that in many ways. Yes, I wish that Katie would assert herself more firmly when I screw up. I wish she'd remind me that I am indeed owned - that I belong to her - that my life is now hers to govern as she wishes.

I'm writing this post because a few comments noted that I am topping from the bottom by pushing her to move from where she is to another place.  One commented that our femdom (D/s) relationship is doomed because of my discontent. Some have noted that it is not my place to 'go here' in the first place because I am the submissive partner.

If I were to sum up my desires in a simple comment it is this: Katie, throw me a bone every now and then to remind me who it is that I am and who it is that you are.  That's it.  That's what I'd like. She may never do that. I don't know. As I mentioned before, 'time will tell'.  I love being owned. I love taking care of my wife. I love knowing that she is in charge.  I know that Katie loves our relationship just as it is.

When we go shopping she buys what she wants when she wants it. When we are at home she tells me what she wants. She will veto or approve any 'suggestion' I make. She lives her life just as she did before we started living in a femdom relationship only now, she tells me what she wants rather than asks.  

On my end, I do what I am told. I don't disobey her. I always have obedience as my intent. It is not in my nature to go against her will.  I love obeying her. I love deferring to her. I love seeing her take charge. I find a great deal of security in knowing I belong to another and that she will care for me.  Yet with all that, I do wish that she'd use the word 'sub' every now and then. Or tell me 'I own you...." and then give me an order or make a comment. I wish too that she'd use discipline to help me be a better sub.  I don't want her to abuse me and I know she won't but I do know that we all respond when disciplined. Those reminders, those time outs, those 'I'm going to help you to remember to do this or don't do this next time' moments are effective. I wish she'd incorporate discipline/punishment into her leadership style.  If she did but those two things I think she'd be a more effective dominant woman and I'd be an even more content sub. That's all I wish for. But if she doesn't choose to go there I'll live with that.

I don't see a problem with me wishing. After all I am human. I have needs, desires and wants just as any other person.  I don't see it as topping by asking. I have not pressed this. In fact the only times this really comes up is when Katie reads these posts to approve them and most every time she will read it quietly, make a few editorial comments and then tell me it's good to go. We haven't discussed any of the previous four posts at all. Nada.  

And so I wait.  If change comes it comes. If it doesn't it doesn't.  In the end I will get over it, if nothing different happens. There is so much more to all that we have and who it is that I am in love with than a few reminder words that I'm hers, or corner time to help me serve her more to her liking. We will always live as a femdom couple. She will never step down from the one who is in charge and I wish never to live on equal grounds with her - ever.  It's the path we have chosen and we both know it's the best path for us both individually and as a couple.

I'm Hers