Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The Boys Have Spoken and Their Message is Unified

In the July 23 post, I wrote described a busy couple days after Katie and I returned home from vacation. When I wrote, I wasn't trying to make any kind of profound statement but rather simply describe both the business as well as how well Katie and I worked together. However, the responses I received really blew me away. I told Katie I never get 30 responses. Now granted, half were replies by me but still, 30 is a lot for this blog but there was quite an interest with respect to how a man and his dominant wife handle work around the house.

If you take the time to read those comments there is a common theme running through most. That theme is that none of these men do all the chores. I noted how Katie and I spent a couple of hours on our hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor together, then shopped and ran errands together. Yes there was a substantial amount of time when we were apart and I’m sure that while I worked during those hours apart, she too was busy working on her own projects. She didn't sit around doing nothing. She wanted to help. And that is the key phrase here “she wanted to help”.

Those that commented shared similar stories. They spoke of their wives as being pragmatic; they talked about them doing work even when their husband had asked them not to. They chipped in and helped when help was needed or simply because they wanted to.

For those men and women considering a wife-led marriage or female-led relationship, I believe the comments made share a bright spot-light on what a real loving femdom relationship is all about. It's about two people living in harmony with one another. Yes, someone is in control, and yes, someone leads while the other obeys. But the more profound point here is that it's not relationship in which one does everything in the other does nothing. It's not a relationship in which one stoops to the other. It's not a relationship where the woman looks down at her husband, viewing him as inferior. It’s not that at all. Rather, in so many ways they are equal. They are equal in the respect they share, the love they share, the values they share, the appreciation they share, their camaraderie, companionship and so much more. Their relationship is normal in that it contains all those fundamental traits found in any healthy loving relationship-with the one exception, that "she" is in charge. The FLRs described by my dear friends convey that they too function as a team. They work together for the common good of their marriage; they love and respect one another, and help one another when help is needed.

I think the second take away point from the commenter’s is the implied harmony in their relationship. I don't know how you function within your marriage or partnership but if you don't live in a FLR my guess is the man sometimes becomes irritated and angry when he is told what to do or how to act. I know that's how high acted and responded prior to Katie taking control. I know that's how my male friends respond because they talk about conflicts within their own marriage and share thoughts of this nature. If this is you, take the time to read the comments carefully. You won't find these men talking about conflict in any of their posts – and they would never flaunt how they stood up to their spouse. Rather you'll find the opposite. You will read statements describing how beautiful their relationship is, how well they work together, how much they adore their spouse as well as mentioning of a newfound harmony that wasn't there before. 

What man wouldn't want to live with a woman like that? What woman wouldn't want to live with a man in that kind of relationship? That's the beauty of femdom-or maybe better stated, that is the possibility that exists in a Femdom relationship. FLRs is not about whips and chains and shackles and leather thongs and kneeling. It's about love and that's what is expressed by each of those that commented on this post. These men love their wives.

I'm Hers

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Ooops

A woman posted a comment on the previous blog post. In that comment was a link to another site. It was this site: herproperty2008.blogspot.com

Of course, me in my hastiness, I read the anonymous comment, saw the link, and for whatever reason assumed this was some type of advertisement and not a legit site.  I didn't link to the site but deleted the comment and wrote a response to whomever wrote it.  Unfortunately for me, the comment-er was real - and not some person pushing a product or having an agenda - and expressed disappointment in my actions.  I promised I'd post the link back up for others to go to and explore as she felt the content of this writer was worthy of reading.

Ma'am, again, I do apologize for my actions. I never meant to offend and do hope that you understand. Furthermore, I hope that readers might find this resource of value and take the time to read a few posts to see for themselves.

I'm Hers

PS. To those of you that post as Anonymous, it really is helpful if you sign off with some type of screen-name.  For example RR is one such anonymous poster.  Yet every time he posts he signs off with 'RR'.  I've gotten to know RR and respect what he says.  It is nice for me and I'm sure others to know that it is RR that is posting the comment he has.  I have no idea if RR stands for Rick Royston or Ray Rochester or even if his name might be Pete Fountain in real life.  All I know is that when I see RR, I smile, knowing it's my dear friend RR taking the time once more to add to the blog discussion.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The Busyness of Returning from Vacation

Katie and I returned home after a nice vacation away. It was a chance to see children, parents, siblings and relatives as well as getting a bit of work in that I do every summer.  It was also a time to rough it by camping for a few days and that experience is another post in itself.

The time away was relaxing and fun but once we got home, the time of leisure ended and life once more became a blur of jobs and tasks that needed doing. Unpacking a car, organizing 'stuff' before putting it way to make finding it next year easier, doing laundry, cleaning the car, catching up on bills and mail, watering plants, planting plants we brought home, etc. To say the least it was a busy day of getting organized.  Katie had also planned on having seven women friends over on Monday (just 48 hours after getting home) and that meant an entirely new list of things needing done. Vacuuming, scrubbing floors, cleaning the kitchen, purchasing drinks and food and generally making the house look pristine for the Ladies was the order of the next two days.  I don't think I've done so much house work in a long long time.

I kept telling Katie that if she just gave me a list I'd take care of it and she wouldn't have to do work but that was not to be.  We scrubbed tile floors on our hands and knees together. We shopped together and although she kept adding to my list I knew she was busy for most of the time I was working somewhere inside or outside the house. I've come to the conclusion that I need to let go in my attempts to have her turn everything over to me. It’s not who she is and it’s apparently not what she wants me to be. Once Katie makes a decision she doesn’t change easily and wanting to make sure the house got cleaned was something she wasn’t going to leave to chance by not pitching in and helping at least some of the time.  And it is nice to work with her, functioning as a team, with a common goal in mind.  That part I enjoy immensely.  I wish she wouldn't feel the need to work as much and simply turn me loose to work. I have quite a bit of energy left in the tank and love doing things for her.  Being very goal oriented there is something in me that wants her to dare me to do the impossible.

I will say this, she is my Mistress – something I asked her to be almost over four years ago. It has taken her a long time for her to feel comfortable in that role.  In a few areas she took to being the Mistress wife easily but in most it took many months before she came to the point where she accepted and enjoyed her ownership of me and was able to direct me without feeling bad or having to do chores herself.  The process has been slow but it has been steady. I asked her just the other night how she felt comfi-wise and she commented that she feels mostly comfortable now telling me what to do and making sure I do things that will please her.  But she did note that there are still areas that don’t feel normal yet. 
The weekend before the Monday arrival of the ladies was replete with instances where she told me "I want you to do...." At one point on Monday morning I wanted to get the Kitchen counters scrubbed and cleaned yet I didn't get to it until several hours later because of all the "I need you to do X" tasks that kept me busy doing one thing after another of Katie’s growing list of new chores.  Each time they came I couldn't help but smile as I tended to her to-do list knowing I had my own to complete - the one she had given me early that morning.  It is during these times when I realize that I really am here to serve and in that vein I've woken the past few mornings telling her, "I will obey you, I will serve you and I will intentionally show you how much I love you."

Monday evening came. The house was clean and organized when the ladies arrived. Katie was able to relax and I was invited to sit on the deck with them and enjoyed a few hours of listening to their stories as they got caught up on one another's lives. When they left I cleaned up while Katie relaxed watching the news. When I climbed into bed she was already there - naked and waiting for me.  I knew what her nakedness meant. She expected me to massage her. I did and did so with pleasure. What better way to end our day. And I fell asleep knowing I could sleep in. How sweet she is!


I'm Hers

Thursday, July 17, 2014

iWait: One Requirement of the Submissive Husband

Some time ago someone mentioned the word ‘waiting’ in a post and it got me thinking about a small yet very important part of my life as Katie’s submissive.  I wait. I wait for all kinds of things. I wait for her to make a decision when the answer (in my mind) wants to leap from my tongue. I've learned to hold my thoughts and let Katie decide on her own time. 
I wait when she tells me we will be leaving at 8 pm and I am ready at 7:45.  I wait without telling her to hurry up.  I wait when she wants to sleep-in on a weekend even though I have been ready to get up an hour earlier.  Instead, I cuddle behind her or lay perfectly still if she wants to cuddle me.  I wait until she is ready to rise and don’t disturb her sleep.  I wait when we go shopping.  Often I tag along a step behind, letting her browse the clothing aisles, appliance department, the food shelves, the pet supply area or wherever it is we happen to be shopping.  I don’t grab her hand and pull her along. I don’t look at the time on my cell in a way that signals my desire to leave. I simply enjoy my time with her, talk about what I see, point out things I believe she’d like or that I feel would look good on her and enjoy the moment. 
I wait while she uses the laptop. I don’t ask to use it but wait for her to finish checking emails, writing responses or browsing the web.  I wait when we watch TV or sit outside on the deck at night.  I don’t tell her I am going to bed. I wait until she is ready.  And when she is, I clean up behind her and head up to join her.  I wait when she drives, even if she’s driving 60 in a 70 mph. I don’t point at the speed limit signs. I don’t tell her she’s driving too slow. I sit in the passenger seat and enjoy the ride, doing what I can to make her as comfortable as I can.  
I wait when she works part-time for a friend. We travel together even though this is all Katie's thing and not mind.  After arriving I am free to do what I want, usually bringing along work or a laptop to write letters or blog posts while waiting for her to finish.  Normally she will tell me when it is that I am to be back making sure I am always a few minutes early so as to not make her wait on me.   I wait when we go out for a meal or out with friends. I wait on Katie. I make sure she has the better of the two seats to sit in so she can socialize easier with others. I wait until she gives the signal that it is time to ask for the bill for our meal or that it is time to leave a social function at a friends home. Until that signal is given I wait and be the best company I can for my Mistress.

Waiting has become one of the joys of my submission.  Waiting makes a man look to his Mistress for direction. Waiting helps a man learn that she is more important than he.  Waiting teaches patience. Waiting reinforces a man’s dependency on his wife. Waiting is a tangible sign that she is the one who is most important, is the one who leads, who is the one who is in charge, and by waiting the submissive demonstrates his obedience to the one he serves.  

Katie is my Owner. She now uses those words every now and again and I love hearing them every time she does. Because she owns me, because she is the Mistress, because she is the dominant partner she deserves to be waited for and waited on. Waiting on is a topic for another post but waiting for is something a woman (all Mistress wives for that matter) deserve, and it does a submissive man well to learn this important skill of patience and focus on the woman he has committed his life to serve.

I’m Hers

PS: Katie read and approved the post and then told me of a song I wasn't aware of. It's by Brad Paisley and this version has the one and only Andy Griffith in it.  Here's the link  and here's the words. They brought tears to my eyes thinking about how privileged I am to be waiting for my woman!

Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall 
He sat down in his overalls and asked me
You waitin' on a woman
I nodded yeah and said how 'bout you
He said son since nineteen fifty-two I've been
Waitin' on a woman

When I picked her up for our first date
I told her I'd be there at eight
And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty
She said I'm sorry that I took so long
Didn't like a thing that I tried on
But let me tell you son she sure looked pretty
Yeah she'll take her time but I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

He said the wedding took a year to plan
You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous
Waitin' on a woman
And then he nudged my arm like old men do
And said, I'll say this about the honeymoon, it was worth it
Waitin' on a woman

And I don't guess we've been anywhere
She hasn't made us late I swear
Sometimes she does it just 'cause she can do it
Boy it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same with your young wife
Might as well go on and get used to it
She'll take her time 'cause you don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Locked Again

It's been a long time since there were panties put out on the counter for me. Katie was up early and told me the night before I could sleep in.  How nice that was.  After giving her a nice massage I fell asleep cuddled tight against her back. It was after a nice ten-hour rest that I climbed out of bed and saw the baby blue panties folded nicely on the counter. Katie was thinking about my well being!  Panties on the counter is the unspoken indicator for me to 'lock up'.  I haven't been locked for almost a month and it's been both a nice break as well as something I've actually missed.

Have you ever had those feelings? I mean, have you ever missed having some significant symbol that the two of you are not equal and want that symbolic part of your relationship back again?  Now, I never ever believed for a moment that Katie let me gain equal footing with her. That isn’t ever happening. She loves my submission and thrives as the head of our home. The freedom she enjoys without me hindering her decisions has brought her much pleasure and satisfaction.  We haven't lived as equals for several years nor will we ever, but I did feel more her equal during these weeks when the chastity appliance was stowed away (if you know what I mean). I mean I can try to encourage things more than when under lockdown.  

Personally I deeply desire to see those overt signs that I am owned and here to love and serve Katie. Mentally I have long since made the change as to who I am and that 'new' me is one I sincerely enjoy. Because of this there were times when I wished she’d have me lock but the day before we left for vacation she told me to “put the Bird in a secure place and out of sight”. We left for a fifteen day adventure with the Jailbird at home. It was a good feeling – mostly.  

But this morning after I saw the panties on the counter and obediently locked I asked Katie the 'why' question regarding the panties. All I got was 'it's been awhile,' as a response.  It has indeed. What was interesting was that the following evening she kept me locked. I thought for certain she’d permit me to sleep free but instead I was told to massage her and no mention of unlocking came into her conversation. That night I found myself wanting out.  I think I was mostly asleep but the feeling I had, and later related to Katie the following morning, was that I did not like her doing this to me.  It was an odd emotion and one that most certainly came from being free for so long. 

The following evening I was told to unlock and massage her once again. The next day I was free. The following day I was free as well but ended up asking if I could lock.  She agreed and so I sit once more restrained and unable to access the goods.  I love being a submissive.

I’m Hers

PS: since writing this post some two weeks ago I have been in and out of chastity.  Any day that I'd spend even an hour apart from her I would wake to find the panties on the counter. She takes no chances that I will ever be free while out of her sight.  Today was one such day and so it was another day in lockdown.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Turning Another Corner

I’m writing this in mid June but not posting it until now.  I like to write when ideas pop into my head and then schedule the posts so I don’t feel pressured to write when there is nothing significant to put down on paper.  Anyway, I’ve been noticing changes in Katie’s behavior and I doubt it has anything to do with my desire that she become more overtly possessive or dominant.  I think she is simply becoming more of who she is – the Mistress of our home - and is verbalizing her mind more pointedly by making sure I do those things she wishes to take care of her and our home.
That is one of her favorite phrases: “I love you taking care of me.”  Taking care of her of course means that I do what she wants when she wants it done. But by her making sure I meet her needs she is satisfying that desire to know that I am owned.  She is offering me fewer choices. She asks me if I will do something less often and states more often what it is she wants done.  The end result is the same but the way she now tells me what she wants done leaves nothing to choice and, quite frankly, helps me to know exactly what I am to do and when.  It’s what I’ve wanted all along – clarity from her and being able to see her confidence build as the leader of our home.
Here’s a few examples of the subtle changes I’m noticing:
It was a Wednesday night. We were in bed. We would be leaving for vacation early on a Friday so Thursday was our last day to get things done.  In my mind, the day was over and I wanted to cuddle and fall asleep. Katie’s mind was still in high gear.  The silence was interrupted with her stating, “You need to mow the yard.”

“I know, I’ll do it. I don’t want you worrying about that. I’ll take care of it.”

A moment later: “I want this room vacuumed and the downstairs vacuumed too.”

"OK Katie."

Another moment of silence and then: “The dog needs to be bathed. We’ll have to do it later in the day when we have time.”

"OK."


After a longer moment of silence: “Remind me to get more cash for our trip.”

“OK I will.”

A bit later: “When were the sheets changed last?”

“ Last Saturday,” I answered.

“Wash them in the morning, that way they will be clean when we get back.”

“Yes Katie.”

After another minute of peace: “I have a few clothes I want washed tomorrow that I want to take with us when we leave. I’ll throw them in the laundry basket in the morning.”

“OK.” I said once last time.  

It was then when she drifted off to sleep. It was then that I realized I needed help remembering all she just told me. With Katie snuggled tight against my back and her arm wrapped around me I stealthily got my phone and started writing down all I needed to do come morning.  Putting the phone away I fell asleep.

That was one example.  Earlier in the day we ate lunch at a Chinese restaurant with her adult daughter. Opening my fortune cookie I read, “You worked hard today and deserve a reward in the evening.” I smiled, my mind conjuring up thoughts of passionate sex.

“Just because you worked hard doesn’t mean you are going to get a reward,” Katie stated flatly, her daughter listening from across the table. 

I looked her way hoping for support but got nothing. Instead all I got was her backing her mom bytelling me my fortune wasn’t even a fortune but rather a statement. I read it again but Katie once again told me there was no guarantee of any reward.  And when "later" came all I got was a list of things needed doing the following day.
Earlier in the week Katie must have been thinking about how much she enjoyed having me home on vacation. She blurted, “I wish you were home all the time. I’d have you working on so many projects.” 

She must have had visions of me spackling walls and painting rooms, doing small repairs, scrubbing floors, felling trees that need to be thinned in the yard and who knows what else.  What struck me was the openness she expressed in knowing my role is doing stuff so she doesn't have to.  I think she likes owning a man who she can order around and obeys without question.

She is slowly changing. When comparing the person she is now to the one I knew even a year ago the change is significant.  I wonder what she will be like in another few years? All I know is that I am enjoying her even more as she settles into the role as my Dominant wife.

I’m Hers 

Monday, June 30, 2014

"I'm Not Allowed"

Earlier this summer Katie invited one of her single girlfriends over. She is a great woman and a dear friend to both of us.  At some point during the evening our conversation with Rachel turned to a discussion about a potential guy that she has an interest in pursuing.  This man happens to enjoy golf. It also just so happens that ‘golf’ is one of two activities that are on my banned list. Golf happens to be on the black list because Katie's previous husband often golfed for many hours on his day off rather than spending his free time with her.

At some point Rachel mentioned to Katie that this guy and I might enjoy golfing.  Without a second’s thought I spoke up saying, “Just because he might want me to go golfing with him does not mean that I’ll be allowed to go.” With my eyes I motioned to my wife next to me as to the reason I wouldn't be doing that.

Katie and Rachel may have smiled but the conversation proceeded unbroken after my statement. I don’t even know if Katie noticed what I had said but I sure did – after the fact.  What struck me in hindsight were a few things. First, just how normal the box that I live in has become. It’s not odd; it’s not abnormal; it just is and I am very content living within that box. I know that golfing is not something that Katie wishes me to do because of the time away it would mean.  (As an aside, I have never taken to golf so it's not something I am dying to do.  Put that ball on the tee and I'll smack that thing a long way but I may miss it a few times before I connect - that's how bad I am :)   Second was the lack of surprise Rachel and Katie gave my statement.  There response was  more akin to 'if that's what Katie wants then that's the way it is'. I do think the cat is out of the bag with Rachel that I serve Katie. She does not know that I vowed to obey her but she often comments to Katie how good she has it.  I think too that Rachel knows that Katie runs our relationship – meaning that she makes decisions – not me.

I mention this five second moment from my life, not to make some profound point but then again, that statement and their acceptance of that response is indeed profound. I have come to accept a new normal - a new normal that fits what Katie prefers. Rachel has also come to accept a new normal too (or maybe just a normal that is becoming more publicly accepted) - that men obey and follow their wives wishes.  For whatever the reason I found both my statement and their reaction to be quite informative.  Maybe you can think of similar statements that you've made that have had similar responses. Feel free to share for the benefit of all if you care to.

I’m Hers